Friday, April 22, 2011

Earth Day - A Failed Conservation Attempt

A little while back I came across a copy of a speech I'd given many years ago when I ran for County Treasurer on the old Constitutional Party of PA ticket. I think it fits in well for Earth Day.

“I was walking through the woods the other day enjoying the brisk Autumn air when I saw something that almost broke my heart. The branches of the most beautiful tree in Creation, the Liberty Tree, were sagging almost to the ground under the weight of thousands upon thousands of Dofermee Birds. Their strident cry broke the Autumn stillness, 'Waddayagonnadofermee-dofermee-dofermee.' From the upper branches of the Tree, Silver-Tongued Lie-Hatchers answered, 'Iflected-iflected-imgonna-doferya-doferya-doferya.'

The Lie-Hatchers had promised to pick the fruits of the Liberty Tree and pass them down to the Dofermees below. But they had glutted themselves on the fruits and the only thing left to pass down to the Dofermees was that which Pigeons pass down to pedestrians on city streets.

I'm here tonight to ask you to join the conservation efforts of the Constitutional Party. Help us to drive the Lie-Hatchers from the Tree so that the Dofermees can molt their yellow feathers and don once more their brown, white, and golden plumage and soar again, as they were meant to soar, as American Eagles. If we can do this, the Liberty Tree will thrive once more and bear fruit for all of us.”

Unfortunately, we got little support. Many sympathized with us but could not overcome the “Lesser-of- Two” Syndrome.

A couple of weeks ago I returned to that spot in the woods looking for the tree. All I could find was a rotted, termite-infested stump.

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