Pizza Registration

The office of the White House Press Secretary today announced the plan of President Obama to issue an Executive Order requiring all Pizzas made for sale in the United States to be registered with the DOJ's Counter Terrorism Unit. This coming in the wake of an increase in acts of terror being committed by Pizza wielding extremists.

The President is not ready to release details on his E.O., because, as in the case of the Health Care bill, the Order will be a skeleton that will be fleshed out by agencies, existing or created, that will be responsible for formulating, implementing, and executing the plan established. For this President Obama has called an emergency meeting of the heads of all existing departments involved.

Tops on the list of things to be discussed is limiting the size of pizza to 6” in diameter and creation of a microchip to be embedded in each pizza sold. Preliminary requirements for the chip have already been released to Intel and AMD so they will be able to make proposals at the proper time. Each has been given a ten billion dollar grant for research and development. The value of the contract that will be awarded is expected to be in the Trillions. Most of the cost, according to the Office of Management and Budget, will eventually be passed on to the Pizza Restaurants and the consumer.

Minimum requirements have been set for the embedded chip. It must blend into the cheese and be easily swallowed. To facilitate tracking of potentially harmful ingredients such as explosively hot pepperoni, the chip must survive the trip through the digestive system until it exits the body. It must continue to be fully functional until destroyed by the processes used in sewage treatment facilities.

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton will be addressing the next meeting of the U.N. General Assembly. She is expected to appeal for a world-wide Anchovy Proliferation Treaty.

[Obviously, the above report is false. I just wanted to see if I could come up with fiction more absurd than fact. I failed miserably.]

The story that beats my fiction by a mile comes from Bob Unruh of World Net Daily via David Theroux at The Beacon, http://blog.independent.org/2011/12/28/public-school-clamps-down-on-ten-year-old-for-pizza-gun/ the blog of the Independent Institute http://www.independent.org

....

In the past, a gunmaker’s name on a pen and a drawing of a space weapon have been enough to bring down school officials’ wrath on students; now it’s a piece of pizza.

At an elementary school in Smyrna, Tenn., student Nicholas Taylor, 10, has been ordered to spend lunches for the rest of the semester at the lunchroom’s “silent table” because he allegedly picked up a piece of pizza and waved it around like a gun.

According to a WKRN television report, school officials say Taylor “threatened” other students “with a piece of pizza with bites out of it so it looked like a gun.”

The station said his mother, LeAnn Taylor, described the punishment as “absolutely ridiculous” and said her son never said anything derogatory or anything about shooting.

“The kid across the table from him said it looked like a gun so he picked it up and started shooting it in the air,” she said, according the television report.

A school official, James Evans, said the punishment actually is because “some students reported he was making some threatening hand gestures, that he was shooting at other kids at the table, and they reported it to a teacher.”

. . . .

“In addition to the stigma of silent lunch, Nicholas was required to meet with the school resource officer to learn about gun safety. I submit that the school should have further required that the child … meet with the dietitian to discuss pizza safety.”

The controversy developed, according to the WKRN report, a few days ago at David Youree Elementary School in Smyrna, a part of the Rutherford County School District.

Evans wrote, “I realize some might say we are going overboard but the principal is just trying to use an abundance of caution and send the message that we don’t play about guns and it’s not something we joke around about.”

Taylor told the station the school made it clear if her son eats his pizza into the shape of a gun again and there is another incident, he would be suspended.
....

See the whole story at http://www.wnd.com/2011/12/381781/ including a TV interview of two Tennessee representatives. Can you pick the airhead?

Let's just be thankful it wasn't a piece of French Bread Pizza. School officials might have thought it was a rocket launcher and poor Nicholas would already be in Gitmo.

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Go Ahead. Tread On Me.

I was very concerned that the alleged assassination attempt on Gabrielle Giffords would draw the anti-Gun Nuts out of the woodwork. It looks like this may already be happening.

Bruce Reed has been selected by Joe Biden as his chief of staff. Dennis Hennigan of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence said he thinks Reed “has his heart in the right place on guns” and will want to do the “right thing on guns” says a Politico news story on the Reed appointment.

No doubt the “right thing” will be further unconstitutional infringements on our fundamental human right to keep and bear arms to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our country from criminal elements in our streets and in our governments. As “our” government becomes more and more tyrannical with each passing day, it's a good time to remind ourselves of what happens to disarmed citizens when faced with such tyranny.

The following are the words of Paul Harvey. I regret that my source did not list the date this aired.

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Something To Think About
Paul Harvey on Guns

Are you considering backing gun control laws ? Do you think that because you may not own a gun, the rights guaranteed by the Second Amendment doesn't matter?

Consider: In 1929 the Soviet Union established gun control.

From 1929 to 1953 approximately 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.

In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, 13 million Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, the mentally ill, Jehovah's Witnesses, and others, who were unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

That places total victims who lost their lives because of gun control at approximately 56 million in the last century. Since we should learn from the mistakes of history, the next time someone talks in favor of gun control find out which group of citizens they wish to have exterminated.

It has not been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed, a program costing the government more than $500 million dollars. The results Australia-wide:

Homicides are up 3.2%, Assaults are up 8%, Armed robberies are up 44% in that country's state of Victoria, homicides with firearms are up 300%.

It's time to state it plainly: Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws only affect the law-abiding citizens.

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There are a couple of lessons for Americans to learn from our own history. Remember that the right to keep and bear arms is a natural right and is automatic for citizens of any nation. It is, however, not a right of subjects or slaves.

The American colonies experienced an attempt at gun control at Lexington and Concord. The British tried to deprive their American subjects of their arms. That attempt failed and, after a long struggle using the arms retained, a new nation was born, a nation of citizens not subjects.

We see another example of restriction of the right in the old deep South. Slaves were not permitted to keep arms. It makes sense when you think of it. Had they been permitted to bear arms even close to the quality born by their masters, they wouldn't likely have been slaves very long.

If we give up our right to keep and bear arms, we will be saying, “Go ahead. Tread on me.”

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